The Crunchiest Leaf

When walking across campus, I always make sure to step on the crunchiest, biggest leaves that I pass. No, I don't care that people may be watching me and wondering why I continue to stumble, stomp, stumble, stomp. Occassionally I even give gawkers a faux innebriated wave. Oh college. The only time in a person's life where people smile at drunkards, turn to their friends and say, "Damn, that chick must've had a good night"... or at least that's what I tell myself the other students think. It's probably more like, "That dyke can't walk a straight line. Must be the gayness. Get it! Straight line! Hahaha... Oooh, I kill me."

This habit of mine doesn't change when I walk, hand in hand, with my partner, Celia. In fact, I get an increased kick out of watching her give me embarrassed looks. Not only am I crunching my way through life, but I'm also making her look abashed. Fan-friggin-tastic.

I guess this is the way that I approach many things in my life. Amuse myself, fuck the world, and get a rise. Probably not the best method. It most likely should be more like: follow the herd, do unto others, and blend.... NAH!!!!